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  • kinderboo ad
    Dear biological father,
    Please don't come back after all these years and act like everything's ok and you never left. I'm 16 now, not 6.
    Dear Myspace,
    Twitter, Tumblr, and I decided on it and, well, you're kicked out of the club. My little sister is replacing you. Her name is Instagram.
    Dear women,
    Please realize that sometimes guys won't ask you out because they're nervous too.
    Dear society,
    When somebody says "how did she win she's fat!" during toddlers and tiaras, I think you've taken things far enough. I'll take it from here.
    Dear Boyfriend,
    Please help me raise OUR son, and stop playing video games all the time.
    Dear Drug Addicted Friends,
    Just because I've cleaned up my life and you're still throwing yours away, doesn't mean you have to hold a grudge against me for it.
    Dear first snow of the year,
    Your novelty will never wear off.
    Dear guys,
    Girls are just as grossed out by periods as you are, we just get over it and do what needs to be done. Bloody underwear is gross, no matter what gender.
    Dear girl who wrote on my Facebook wall,"no life" after I studied for three months.,
    I got into Harvard. You didn't even get into community college.
    Dear PlayDoh,
    I saw an ad for something exactly like what you sell. The difference? It was edible. If you'd thought of that in the first place, life would have been so much more entertaining.
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